RECONCILIATION – WHAT DO I DO IN THE MOMENT?

“Test me, Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind.” PSALM 26:2

We all respond to disagreements, conflict and problems differently. The key is to appreciate that none of these responses below, in themselves are healthy or reconciliation driven.

Consider the different responses below and consider which one, or combination of these, reflects you.

PASSIVE RESPONDERS!

For some of us we can remain calm and chilled during stress. We tend to endure conflicts and niggles quietly. In some ways we bury our heads. Mercy and love are more important than confrontation and being able to maintain relationship is what we value most. We would rather hold a secret and cover up truth to protect ourselves and others, than to deal with an issue. We want to be loved and accepted.

EVASIVE RESPONDERS!

Others of us will do almost anything to escape conflict or confrontation. We have an awesome sidestep. We will divert, accuse, or minimise because we believe conflict is wrong and should be avoided. At our worse we can tend to lie, spread rumours, rationalise, or blame others. We often will use humour or sarcasm to divert and try to side-track or confuse rather than confront truth. We want to be needed and accepted, but on our own terms

DEFENSIVE RESPONDERS!

In conflict situations some of us will act defensively to guard our position, reputation or shortcomings. There is a belief that all conflict is about proving who’s right and who’s wrong. We can tend to be argumentative, persuasive and manipulative. We are driven by a need to be right. We can be selective around the facts, using them to serve their own interests. We deal with our own short comings by blaming others.

AGGRESSIVE RESPONDER!

There remains those of us are eager to take on problems, niggles and conflicts head on. We are open to fight, confront, attack or argue. We can be competitive, forceful, pushy and confrontational. We approach conversations by being dominant, direct and demanding. Our reasoning is focused and narrow in perspective and we are unwilling to compromise. We are easily threatened and very sensitive to any form of criticism or disagreement. We can see problems or conflicts resolved without us.

What is your natural tendency when confronted with a problem or conflict?

We all respond to disagreements, conflict, and problems differently. The key is to appreciate that none of these responses in themselves are healthy and reconciliation driven. We need to ask God to…

“Test me, Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind.” PSALM 26:2

We need to ask God to test our thoughts and intentions, not just our outward actions. Ask God to show you your natural tendency when confronted with a problem or conflict?