RECONCILIATION – WHAT DO I DO IN THE MOMENT?

“Test me, Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind.” PSALM 26:2

We all respond to disagreements, conflict and problems differently. The key is to appreciate that none of these responses below, in themselves are healthy or reconciliation driven.

Consider the different responses below and consider which one, or combination of these, reflects you.

PASSIVE RESPONDERS!

For some of us we can remain calm and chilled during stress. We tend to endure conflicts and niggles quietly. In some ways we bury our heads. Mercy and love are more important than confrontation and being able to maintain relationship is what we value most. We would rather hold a secret and cover up truth to protect ourselves and others, than to deal with an issue. We want to be loved and accepted.

EVASIVE RESPONDERS!

Others of us will do almost anything to escape conflict or confrontation. We have an awesome sidestep. We will divert, accuse, or minimise because we believe conflict is wrong and should be avoided. At our worse we can tend to lie, spread rumours, rationalise, or blame others. We often will use humour or sarcasm to divert and try to side-track or confuse rather than confront truth. We want to be needed and accepted, but on our own terms

DEFENSIVE RESPONDERS!

In conflict situations some of us will act defensively to guard our position, reputation or shortcomings. There is a belief that all conflict is about proving who’s right and